Monday, July 15, 2013

Black Gold Brides: NM oil wife says she prays every day her husband returns home

When Elexis Towler kisses her husband, Dusty, goodbye as he heads off to work at an oil rig site some two hours away from home, she keeps a positive attitude he will return home safely to her and their 18-month-old daughter, Jaclyn.

Towler's husband is employed by Silver Oak Drilling as a tool pusher. He generally lives and works at the rig site for four days, working 12-hour shifts, and then he is off four days. Recently, he worked eight days straight before he was able to come home to his family.

Towler said although equating the dangerous job of a soldier in a combat zone to an oilfield worker's job could be argued, she said both are dangerous jobs and when they kiss their loved ones goodbye, "you pray they will stay safe

Elexis Towler plays with her 18-month-old daughter, Jaclyn, at their home. Towler says she tries not to worry when her husband s at work at a rig site two hours from home, but admits it s hard not to. (Photo by Iris Perez)

on the job and come home."

"Soldiers protect our country, while oilfield workers keep our country running through the extraction of oil and gas and help keep our country energy independent. They are two important jobs. What workers on oil rigs do is a different type of dangerous," she said, pointing out the number of oilfield related deaths and injuries that have occurred in Eddy County in the past two years.

Towler, who holds an associate degree in psychology from Eastern New Mexico University Roswell, said she tries not to worry when her husband is at work, but it's hard not to.

"I won't lie and say I don't worry. It's pretty scary. I worry if something were to happen to him. The question is always in the back of

my mind if I would be able afford to keep this house we just bought in December, and I worry how hard it would be for Jaclyn to be without her daddy," said Towler, who has been married just over two years.

She said while the company her husband works for "treats its employees right," the fear is always there that the life insurance benefits they both have may not be enough to raise a child and provide a good life without her spouse.

At 23, Towler is mature and practical. She says she knew what she was getting into when she married her husband. Her father, Hector Reza, worked in the industry for 20 years and it provided a good living for his family. Her husband also comes from a family of oilfield workers. "I'm proud of Dusty. When I met him, he was working as a driller. He has worked his way up from a driller to a tool pusher," she said. "He works hard and provides for us. It enables me to be a stay-at-home mom. For my part, I make sure when he goes to work and leaves us here, he has nothing to worry about. I take care of the bills, the house and the other-day-to-day things.

"I don't want him to be distracted on the job. He needs to keep his focus on the job. He has 15 other guys' lives in his hands. I think I'm a pretty good money manager. I keep us on a budget and I don't over spend. I don't want to have to live paycheck to paycheck. I know Dusty appreciates that."

She says the hardest thing for her being an oilfield wife are the long nights alone after she puts her daughter to bed. To keep herself busy during the day, Towler provides child care for two working moms whose husbands also work in the oilfields.

"I don't need the additional income, although it is nice, but I do it to keep myself busy. If I didn't babysit, I would probably take 100 trips into town just for something to do," said Towler, an Artesia native who now resides in the county.

She said because her husband's co-workers come from various communities, networking with their wives is not an option. The co-worker's wives are scattered and it is difficult to stay in touch with them.

However, Towler said she is friends with oilfield wives in Artesia whose husbands work for different companies.

"I'm pretty independent. But I do have family in Artesia to fall back on if I should need them. I have cousins who I hang out with, and I visit a lot with my grandma. She makes the best food, ever," Towler said.

While her husband is away at work, Towler has a set routine. She gets up early so she can be ready to welcome the two 5-year-olds an 18-month-old when their moms drop them off on their way to work.

Jaclyn is an early riser and is happy to have kids to play with.

The children watch their favorite show on television and then play with Jaclyn's toys. Towler interacts with the children and helps the older two color inside the lines of their coloring books to improve their motor skills.

While they color or watch TV, Towler does a few chores around the house.

She is handy with a screw driver and fixed the curtain rod above her dining room window that had worked itself loose.

Around 11:30 a.m., she provides lunch for the children - on this particular day it was a grilled cheese sandwich and carrot sticks. Nap time came shortly thereafter, providing Towler a little quiet time.

Towler's husband was due home for a four-day weekend the day after her interview for this story, so, while the children were napping, Towler did a little house cleaning.

"I always try to get it all done before he comes home. I want him to come home to a clean and tidy house, not that my house is not clean or tidy most of the time. I don't mow the yard - Dusty does that when he comes home," Towler said while wiping down the kitchen countertops after lunch. "When Dusty is home, we go fishing, hunting or do some target practicing at the range. We might go out to eat and a movie or hang out with family. But the time flies by too fast."

Towler said prior to her husband's return to work, grocery shopping and laundry are two things that are high on the list of "must do." She said while the company provides housing for its employees, bedding and food are the employees' responsibility.

"I'm basically buying food for two households," Towler said. "Dusty has his own quarters at the site. It's not fancy, but it does have a microwave and stove. But we had to furnish everything else he needs."

She said although her husband is away from home for days at a time, the company he works for has been generous in allowing him time off when he has needed to go home for a family emergency, such as the shooting death of his brother in Roswell last year by law enforcement, and the birth of his daughter. "When I was pregnant, Dusty was able to come to go to my doctor appointments. They also gave him time off for the birth of Jaclyn. I was appreciative of that. Not all companies in this industry are employee friendly," Towler said.

She reflects on the issue of some women being left alone for long periods of time and tending to stray from their marriages and said: "It does happen. I know wives who have been unfaithful while their husband works in the oilfield. But that's not for me. When Dusty is at work, I hang out with my family or I stay home. I have a young cousin who loves to stay with me, and Jaclyn loves her. Gossip can also kill a marriage, so I make sure no one has anything to gossip about." Although she would prefer her daughter not to follow in her footsteps and marry an oilfield worker, Towler said if that came to pass, she would not discourage her.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. The industry has provided our families with a good living," she said. "But my advice to her, or any young women considering a life with someone who works in the oilfields, would be stay strong and never give up. In any marriage, you have to work at it, but being married to an oilfield worker sometimes can be very hard. You have to have strong faith and be willing to work together. I think trust is important. Without it, that's when difficulties set in."

Source: http://www.currentargus.com/ci_23654434/black-gold-brides?source=rss_viewed

sugarland 16 and pregnant ludwig mies van der rohe jamie lynn sigler mega millions jackpot black panther party frank martin

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.